Bubble Sniper

by Deborah

I would stretch my legs at work by wandering through the maze of work-station pods and cubicles. One, especially boring, morning I saw bubbles floating through the air hovering around the head of a co-worker, who was sitting at his desk in the sales department. Dave was a hard case. He was rude, arrogant and presumptuous. So, multiple shiny bubbles floating around his head in the middle of our workday - especially because he was not at all aware of them - was hysterical. I could not stop laughing, even as I was pointing this amazing vision out to him. Of course, Dave refused to acknowledge these bubbles and quickly became, really, irritated that I could be entertained at his expense.

The office space where we work has four small kitchens, strategically, placed throughout the large building. Each kitchen is in an open closet, separate from the work stations yet, positioned just around the corners. The office also has very high, open industrial-style, ceilings and lots of half walls and cubicles. Each kitchen has a sink. Each sink has a bottle of dish-washing liquid.

Employees are responsible for cleaning up after themselves. It took me just moments to figure out that the bubbles came from my co-worker's recent efforts to wash his coffee cup. He lathered up at the near-by kitchen sink and some of the resulting bubbles escaped and followed him back to his cubicle.

Over the next few days, whenever I washed my own coffee mug, I could not help myself. I played with the office dish soap, mixing it with varying amounts of water and testing various methods of "sudsing". I became a master at producing great volumes of durable, flight-worthy, bubbles.

As my aim improved, I went to work. I became the office bubble sniper. I applied the same professionalism and focus that I put into my paying job. With stealth and strategy, I bubble-sniped co-workers. To the casual observer, I was just traveling with a fresh cup of coffee. Undetected, I attacked around corners and over the top of cubicle walls. I relied on the conditioned air currents, the heat from our computers and the building's high ceilings to facilitate the transport of my bubbles. Each of the four kitchens offered unique launch opportunities. One kitchen fed directly into the reception area and was just around the corner from the sales department.

I usually targeted the pompous fools in sales, including Dave. With only very poor social skills to rely on, that group had an impossible time sorting out these random attacks; the loudest and most egotistical sales folk defaulted to blaming one another. Dave, who you might think would have recalled our initial bubble incident, remained so full of himself that he never caught on and he always got mad.

I am proud of how easy it was to flush out the short tempers and big egos on the sales floor. However, I am most proud of bubble sightings at the other ends of the building. Those bubbles had traction!

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